Raphael Kang .com

Laser-focused, out of balance, all out massive action.
No distraction.

I'll be back in 13 weeks.

My Goals will continue to be updated weekly.

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I read a quote today, one that I've read and heard many times, but for some reason, was so much more meaningful now.

"Time is the most important investment of your life."

- What am I spending time doing?
- Who am I spending time with?

What else... matters?

I remember watching the YouTube video fo Steve Jobs' commencement speech at Stanford University. He spoke about "connecting the dots," -- To my interpretation, this meant that when you look back on your life, you realize key events and people (the dots) that were critical junctures and pivot points that have shaped and affected you and your life. For example, I remember clearly the day when my friend told me about NYC. She said, "You'd fit in perfectly in NYC. You're made for NYC." Living in NYC was never a possibility or probability. I was very satisfied with life in California. But the thought stuck, and here I am today. It took one person, and one sentence, to change my life. Quite a significant dot.

Ever since I saw that video, I wanted to see if I can be more aware of the "dots" in my life. Looking back, I can see them. Or, at least what I can make of them.

That brings me to these thoughts. I've heard so many times, "Everything happens for a reason." "Every failure is a step forward." "It all works out in the end." I don't agree with those statements. It seems so passive. It seems like rationalizations. People who teach those principles are not the typical people. They are the personal development gurus. Things didn't happen to them. They are go-getters who sought out opportunities after each downturn. They are conscious, aware, alert. Whenever they encounter failures, they are hungrier than ever. They give all their intention and attention to continue to progress and step forward. "Everything doesn't happen for a reason" for these people. They create reason and meaning.

Yet, this is very tricky. And it's hard to do. It's hard to be brutally honest and align your actions and thoughts with your gut feelings. Your mind can distort and twist. And many times, you allow yourself to.

Most people would say, "I'm glad everything happened in my life because I like who I am today." Though this is true, it's also cognitive dissonance. How could anyone possibly say, "I don't like who I am today." That'd be terrible. I don't think everything should happen. Some things don't need to happen. Didn't need to happen. And using better judgment and care, some things can be avoided. Yet, I contradict myself now since I know that without the bad, there is no good. Without sadness, there is no happiness. Maybe I'm writing this from a source of scars and hurt and some regret, yet I digress.

I write this blog post, part rant and part reflections. I look back on my past year to find the dots. I'm satisfied to say that many of the dots were manifestations of my goals and my wants. I look forward to another great year, of many dots that'll continue to shape and mold my life.

May many good dots show up in your life this year.

1. "Work hard" and "I am so busy." are cliche.

Everyone works hard. What does "work hard" mean anyway?

Do we really work hard? How does one decide who works hard or not? Cause pulling an all-nighter can make you feel like you worked hard. Staying at the library everyday the week before your exam can make you feel like you worked hard. How do you measure "working hard?"

These days, it seems cool to be busy and stressed all the time. But are we really that busy?

2. "Work smart, not hard." is also nonsense.

What does that mean? It makes it sound as if people have a "secret formula" of studying that the average or below-average students don't have. I've been in both groups - the above average (3.7+ GPA), and below-average (below 2.5 GPA) and "working smart" had nothing to do with the former.

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Couple days ago, my friend said this to me: "There's no one who's better at setting a goal, planning out what to do, and executing than you."

I dismissed it as nonsense.

But I came home and thought about it. And realized something.

Every time I had done something that I can be proud of, I had done the following.

I identified what I needed to do. I wrote down step by step, what I needed to do to accomplish, and I recorded it and stayed accountable to it.

That is why I have My Goals. More than anything, it's for me. You might ask why I have it on a blog. I don't want to put it on my Desktop cause I might lose the file. Plus, my little brother and my family get to see it.

Will this work for everybody? Not in the exact way I did it.

But say, for example, one needed to study for a mid-term. I'll use my finance mid-term for example.

I would:

1) Review the Notes - 10 hours.
2) Skim book for parts to add to the Notes - 4 hours
3) Do practice problems - 4 hours
4) Do mock mid-term problems - 4 hours

By the time I finish all 4, I more or less feel ready for an exam. If I don't, I'd go back and study some more. And the results have been satisfactory every time I did this.

If I look at anyone that I respect greatly, they always have a "plan" when it comes to studying (though they might exactly call it that.) They have patterns and ways of studying for and doing things that are consistent for each subject category: literature/writing, math/finance, etc.

My point: Planned, measured, and sustained / consistent work pays. Every time.

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Tomorrow: NYC / NYU - Reflections - Part 3

I finished my finals today.

Afterwards, I was talking to my friend, and she asked me, "How do you feel?"

I answer, "Relieved." But it wasn't true. I really didn't feel anything. I was too busy thinking, "K, what next? What else do I need to do?"

That's when I realized something. My mind is constantly full of wildfires. Little, medium, and big wildfires that need to be put out. Finals were just another wildfire. I still have over 25+ that need to be quelled.

Today, I walked 6 miles. From the Hudson River, to the World Trade Center sites, to Battery Park, Wall Street, Chinatown, Alphabet City, and back to East Village (My home). It was a good walk that made me appreciate what an amazing city I live in. But that was enough. That was my break. I came home, got organized, packed for a bit (I'm moving to a new studio tomorrow), and then I was back at Barnes & Noble, studying for my internship this summer.

It's a Thursday night. I should be out. Celebrating the end of school year.

But I think... celebrate what? I have so much to prove, I have so much to prepare, I have so much to do.

This summer job means so much to me. I've fought so hard to get it. I've worked so hard to get to where I am today. There is no one who prepared harder. And no one who's preparing harder.

I want to perform. I want to excel. I want to add value. And by doing so, I want that full-time offer. I want the start to my career. Not only do I want to secure it, I want to earn it. And deserve it.

I realize... that this desire has been internalized deep within. That everything that I do and think about work towards that goal -- this structured, disciplined way I live (which to the 3rd person can seem machine-like) has become a default way to live.

People ask me, "Does it make you happy? This goal of yours to study 10, 11 hours a day." I never thought of it in terms of happiness. It's just something that needs to be done, and I'm going to do it.

Ironic thing is, I'm more balanced than ever in my life. Academically, professionally, and socially. Healthier than ever. More satisfied than ever.

Maybe it's NYC. Maybe it's my maturing. Maybe it's both. Maybe it's neither.

Life is irony. You know?

As I finish out my finals and end my junior year and my first year at NYU, I reflect.

It's been a great year. Moving to NYC was the right decision. I like my school, my fraternity, my classes, my apartment, my friends, and my summer job. NYC is my home.

I have more to write, but I'm going to go and finish my last final of the year (Business Law), which starts in 20 minutes.

P.S. I've restricted my blog entries to reflect less of my personal thoughts and feelings. I've made many of the pages "private." I did this mostly for job recruiting reasons.

Updated: My Goals, My Books