Raphael Kang .com

I remember watching the YouTube video fo Steve Jobs' commencement speech at Stanford University. He spoke about "connecting the dots," -- To my interpretation, this meant that when you look back on your life, you realize key events and people (the dots) that were critical junctures and pivot points that have shaped and affected you and your life. For example, I remember clearly the day when my friend told me about NYC. She said, "You'd fit in perfectly in NYC. You're made for NYC." Living in NYC was never a possibility or probability. I was very satisfied with life in California. But the thought stuck, and here I am today. It took one person, and one sentence, to change my life. Quite a significant dot.

Ever since I saw that video, I wanted to see if I can be more aware of the "dots" in my life. Looking back, I can see them. Or, at least what I can make of them.

That brings me to these thoughts. I've heard so many times, "Everything happens for a reason." "Every failure is a step forward." "It all works out in the end." I don't agree with those statements. It seems so passive. It seems like rationalizations. People who teach those principles are not the typical people. They are the personal development gurus. Things didn't happen to them. They are go-getters who sought out opportunities after each downturn. They are conscious, aware, alert. Whenever they encounter failures, they are hungrier than ever. They give all their intention and attention to continue to progress and step forward. "Everything doesn't happen for a reason" for these people. They create reason and meaning.

Yet, this is very tricky. And it's hard to do. It's hard to be brutally honest and align your actions and thoughts with your gut feelings. Your mind can distort and twist. And many times, you allow yourself to.

Most people would say, "I'm glad everything happened in my life because I like who I am today." Though this is true, it's also cognitive dissonance. How could anyone possibly say, "I don't like who I am today." That'd be terrible. I don't think everything should happen. Some things don't need to happen. Didn't need to happen. And using better judgment and care, some things can be avoided. Yet, I contradict myself now since I know that without the bad, there is no good. Without sadness, there is no happiness. Maybe I'm writing this from a source of scars and hurt and some regret, yet I digress.

I write this blog post, part rant and part reflections. I look back on my past year to find the dots. I'm satisfied to say that many of the dots were manifestations of my goals and my wants. I look forward to another great year, of many dots that'll continue to shape and mold my life.

May many good dots show up in your life this year.